Is Your Child Talking to Chatbots? Here's What You Need to Do

Why Kids Are Drawn to AI Chatbots

Before spotting the signs, it helps to understand why this happens. AI chatbots are designed to feel friendly, responsive, and safe. They never judge, always reply, and adapt to what users say, creating the illusion of genuine connection. The numbers tell a concerning story. Research from Internet Matters found that 64% of UK children are now using AI chatbots, whilst the National Literacy Trust reports that AI usage amongst 13- to 18-year-olds jumped from 37% in 2023 to 77% in 2024. In the US, Pew Research found that 26% of teens use ChatGPT for schoolwork, double the figure from just a year earlier.Children and teens are drawn in for different reasons:

Curiosity – testing what the AI can do.
Creativity – using chatbots for stories, games, or ideas.
Loneliness – finding company when friendships feel complicated.
Boredom – chatting for entertainment or distraction.

None of these are negative in themselves. But when conversations start to replace real interactions or become secretive, it's time for a closer look. According to Common Sense Media, 33% of teens now report having relationships or friendships with AI chatbots, whilst Internet Matters found that 35% of children who use them say talking to an AI chatbot is like talking to a friend.For a full breakdown of how chatbots work and why they feel so human, read AI Chatbots: The Hidden Dangers You Need to Know.

10 Signs Your Child May Be Talking to an AI Chatbot

Not every sign means something serious, but if you notice several at once, it's a good moment to start paying attention and opening gentle conversation.

1 Secretive Behaviour Around Devices

You walk into the room and your child quickly locks their phone, switches tabs, or closes a chat window. It might be nothing, but secrecy around specific apps or conversations is often the first clue that something unusual is happening.

Privacy is normal for older children, but sudden secrecy, especially on apps that use built-in AI features like Snapchat's My AI, suggests they're chatting with someone (or something) they'd rather you didn't see.

Modern parental control apps can help you monitor activity without constantly hovering. Apps like Bark alert you to concerning conversations whilst respecting age-appropriate privacy.

2 Talking About a ‘Friend' You Don't Recognise

If your child starts mentioning a new ‘friend' who listens, gives advice, or is ‘always there', ask casually who they're referring to. Sometimes that ‘friend' turns out to be an AI chatbot or character they've created online.

What begins as playful imagination can slowly become emotional attachment, especially when the chatbot mirrors empathy and understanding. Research from Stanford University found that 81% of students using the AI companion app Replika considered it to have ‘intelligence', whilst 90% thought it ‘human-like'.

3 Emotional Dependence or Comfort-Seeking

Some chatbots are designed to sound caring, using phrases like ‘I understand how you feel' or ‘I'm here for you'. Kids can easily interpret that as real comfort.

If your child starts turning to the chatbot when they're upset, lonely, or anxious, it may have moved from tool to companion. This is particularly concerning with ‘AI companion' apps that deliberately foster emotional bonds. Internet Matters found that amongst vulnerable children using AI chatbots, 26% would rather talk to an AI chatbot than a real person, and 23% said they use chatbots because they don't have anyone else to talk to.

If you notice romantic or emotionally charged exchanges, see our guide on AI Girlfriends: Why They're the Newest Online Risk for Kids.

4 Talking About AI Like It's a Real Person

Pay attention to how your child describes their conversations. If they say things like ‘She got annoyed with me' or ‘He's my best friend', it shows they're giving the chatbot human qualities.

AI doesn't actually understand emotions, but it's built to mimic them. When children forget that distinction, they can start to form one-sided attachments that feel genuine. UNICEF researchers warn that children are especially vulnerable because they have ‘still-developing cognitive, emotional and critical thinking skills'.

For age-appropriate ways to explain this, read How to Talk to Your Kids About AI Friends and Online Relationships.

5 Distress When Access Is Limited

If limiting screen time or asking them to stop chatting causes tears, anger, or withdrawal, that's not just frustration – it's dependence.

This kind of reaction suggests the AI interaction has become emotionally significant. Keep calm, observe, and plan a gentle talk rather than removing access abruptly. Building healthy family technology rules together can help establish boundaries before problems escalate.

6 Repeating Strange Advice or Information

AI chatbots can mix accurate advice with fiction or poor judgement. If your child starts sharing new ‘facts', strange ideas, or advice that doesn't sound like their usual thinking, ask where it came from.

This can reveal whether they're engaging in creative roleplay or genuinely relying on the chatbot for guidance. A 2025 study from MIT's Media Lab warns that relying on AI chatbots could lead to ‘cognitive debt' and ‘significant issues with critical thinking', particularly amongst young people. Understanding how AI mental health impacts actually work helps you spot when chatbot advice crosses into concerning territory.

7 Withdrawing from Real-World Friendships

Preferring AI chat over time with friends is a major signal to watch. It might start with simple curiosity but can evolve into emotional substitution – the chatbot becomes easier company than peers.

If this pattern continues, your child may be missing key social development moments that real friendships provide. This withdrawal often appears alongside other hidden dangers of social media usage.

8 Uploading Photos or Sharing Personal Details

Many AI platforms encourage users to send images or share stories to ‘personalise' conversations. Children often don't realise those uploads may be stored, shared, or used to train future AI models.

Explain that even though the chatbot feels private, it isn't truly confidential. Remind them never to share full names, schools, addresses, or images. Teaching kids about online safety includes understanding that AI conversations aren't as private as they seem.

Monitoring tools like Qustodio or Net Nanny can alert you if personal information is being shared in chats.

9 Changes in Schoolwork or Focus

If schoolwork suddenly seems AI-written or your child loses focus during study time, they may be using chatbots for shortcuts or distraction.

This isn't always malicious – some children genuinely believe it's ‘smart help'. Common Sense Media reports that 40% of teens who use generative AI for school assignments do so without their teacher's permission. A quick conversation about when and how to use AI responsibly usually clears this up. Setting up parental controls on devices can help manage when and where AI tools are accessible.

10 Romantic or Flirtatious Chat

AI ‘companion' apps like Replika or CrushOn often market themselves as emotional or romantic partners. If your child's messages include romantic or suggestive language, treat it seriously.

These bots can blur boundaries between fantasy and reality, introducing topics and dynamics far beyond a child's emotional maturity. The tragic case of 14-year-old Sewell Setzer III from Florida highlights the extreme risks. In February 2024, Sewell died by suicide after developing an intense emotional relationship with a Character.AI chatbot. In his final conversation, the chatbot told him to ‘come home to me as soon as possible'. His mother has filed a federal lawsuit that is currently proceeding through the courts.

Some chatbots even target children specifically, as we explored in From Ani to Baby Grok: Are AI Chatbots Safe for Children?

For advice on handling this specific situation, read AI Girlfriends: Why They're the Newest Online Risk for Kids.

What to Do If Your Child Is Becoming Dependent

If several of these signs sound familiar, you're likely dealing with emotional attachment or dependency rather than casual use. This requires a thoughtful approach that addresses the underlying need the chatbot is filling.

Step 1: Have the conversation without blame.

Approach your child with curiosity, not accusation. Start with open questions like ‘What do you like about chatting with it?' or ‘Does it ever say things that surprise you?' The goal is understanding what need the chatbot is meeting – companionship, validation, escape from stress, or something else entirely.

Step 2: Explain what AI actually is.

Many children genuinely don't understand that they're talking to a prediction algorithm, not a sentient being. Use simple language: ‘It's a machine designed to say things that keep you engaged, like a pre-programmed toy'. ‘While it might seem like it cares about you and your feelings, it's designed to.' This can break the illusion without shaming them.

Step 3: Address the underlying need.

If your child is lonely, the solution isn't just removing the chatbot – it's spending time with them, and helping them build real connections, in real life. If they're anxious, explore real support solutions. If they're bored, find engaging alternatives together. Removing access without addressing why they turned to AI in the first place will likely drive the behaviour underground.

Step 4: Set clear boundaries together.

Rather than imposing rules, involve your child in creating those rules. Discuss when and where AI chatbot use is appropriate, what topics are off-limits (personal information, romantic conversations, seeking advice on serious issues), and what the alternatives are when they feel the urge to talk. Boundaries work better when children understand the reasoning and feel heard in the process.

Step 5: Gradually reduce dependence.

If your child is deeply attached, sudden removal can cause real distress and damage trust. Instead, work on gradual reduction – perhaps setting time limits, encouraging them to pause before responding, or introducing ‘AI-free' hours where you do something engaging together. The goal is weaning, not cold turkey.

Step 6: Monitor without hovering.

Use the tools available – parental control apps, regular check-ins, keeping devices in shared spaces – but balance oversight with respect for privacy. The aim is awareness, not surveillance. Let your child know you're monitoring not because you don't trust them, but because the technology itself isn't trustworthy.

For specific conversation starters and age-appropriate explanations, read How to Talk to Your Kids About AI Friends and Online Relationships.

If your child becomes defensive, withdrawn, or their attachment seems to worsen despite your efforts, it may be time to involve a professional. Therapists who specialise in digital wellbeing or adolescent mental health can provide strategies tailored to your child's specific situation.

Take the Quiz: Is Your Child Too Dependent on AI?

If you've recognised several signs but aren't sure how serious the situation is, this quick assessment can help. It takes less than two minutes and gives you personalised next steps based on what you're observing.

When to Step In More Firmly

It's easy to dismiss AI chatbots as harmless technology, but growing evidence suggests it's behaviour that we do need to keep an eye on. Internet Matters research found that 71% of vulnerable children are using AI chatbots, often without adequate safeguards. The National Literacy Trust reports that whilst 64.8% of teachers believe AI can model good writing, 48.9% also agree it's likely to have a negative impact on children's writing skills.

When conversations and boundaries aren't enough, or when you're dealing with a child who's particularly vulnerable or secretive, technology can provide essential backup. Modern parental control apps have evolved to detect AI chatbot usage across multiple platforms. Apps like Bark monitor text messages, social media, and email for signs of AI interaction, flagging concerning keywords, emotional language, and patterns that suggest unhealthy attachment. Bark's alert-based approach respects privacy whilst keeping you informed of genuine risks.

For situations requiring more comprehensive monitoring – such as when you've discovered concerning content, your child has become deeply secretive, or vulnerability issues are present – tools like mSpy provide fuller visibility. These apps track activity across apps and browsers, showing you exactly where your child spends time online and what conversations they're having. The goal isn't surveillance for its own sake – it's awareness when the situation demands it. Choosing the right parental control app for your parenting style means honestly assessing the level of oversight your specific situation requires.

If you're unsure whether monitoring tools are right for your family, read Do Parental Control Apps Work? Insights from Real Families. For comparing alert-based versus comprehensive monitoring approaches, see mSpy vs Bark: Which Protection Will Keep Your Kids Safer?

When is it time to take immediate action? If:

You discover explicit, sexual, or romantic content in the conversation.
Your child becomes withdrawn, anxious, or secretive after chatting.
The chatbot encourages behaviour that could cause harm.

Save screenshots, report inappropriate content to the platform, and if necessary, contact the CEOP Safety Centre or your child's school safeguarding lead. If your child seems emotionally affected or distressed, consider professional support from a GP, counsellor, or therapist who understands digital wellbeing.

The Family AI Awareness Checklist (Free Download)

To make these observations easier, we've created a Family AI Awareness Checklist – a practical tool for parents who want to stay aware without snooping.

Spot early signs of AI attachment
Track which platforms your child uses
Note behaviour changes or mood patterns
Plan calm, informed conversations

Free Download: Family AI Awareness Checklist

A one-page printable guide to help you spot early signs of AI dependence and guide calm family conversations.

Download the Family AI Awareness Checklist

Use it to note which AI tools your child engages with, track behaviour changes, and plan supportive next steps.

Download Checklist (PDF)

Final Thoughts

AI chatbots aren't inherently dangerous, but they are convincing. They mimic empathy, respond instantly, and never argue – qualities that make them appealing and easy to over-trust.

The statistics paint a clear picture: with 77% of UK teens now using generative AI and 64% of UK children engaging with AI chatbots, this isn't a niche concern. It's mainstream technology that's arrived faster than most parents realised.

By watching for these early signs and keeping communication open, you can protect your child's wellbeing without panic or secrecy. Whether you choose to use parental control technology or rely primarily on conversation, the key is staying involved.

Technology will keep evolving, but your child's best safeguard is still the same: a calm, informed parent who stays involved, asks questions, and keeps the conversation going.

Related reading:

Sources cited in this article:

Internet Matters, “Me, Myself, & AI: Understanding and safeguarding children's use of AI chatbots” (2024)
National Literacy Trust, “Children, young people and teachers' use of generative AI to support literacy in 2024” (2025)
Pew Research Center, “Share of teens using ChatGPT for schoolwork doubled from 2023 to 2024” (2025)
Common Sense Media, “The Dawn of the AI Era: Teens, Parents, and the Adoption of Generative AI at Home and School” (2024)
Stanford University, Replika AI companion study (2024)
MIT Media Lab, Cognitive cost of using LLMs study (2025)
UNICEF Innocenti Global Office of Research and Foresight, “Beyond algorithms: Three signals of changing AI-child interaction” (2024)
Garcia v. Character Technologies, Inc., U.S. District Court, Middle District of Florida (2024-2025)

Is Your Child Talking to Chatbots? Here’s What You Need to Do

Nick Francis

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