Why AI Rules Matter

AI can educate or expose kids to unsafe content – the difference often comes down to having clear boundaries in place. My daughters are still too young to use these tools, but watching other families struggle without guidelines has convinced me that establishing rules early creates structure and confidence for everyone involved.According to Common Sense Media, 7 out of 10 teens have used at least one type of generative AI tool, but almost half (49%) of parents have never talked to their children about generative AI, nor have they learned of any rules in school. The findings highlight the knowledge gap between children and their parents –  young people are quickly understanding the potential of generative AI, but not necessarily the pitfalls which, according to Amanda Lenhart, head of research at Common Sense Media “underscores the need for adults to talk with teens about AI. We need to better understand their experiences so we can discuss the good and the bad – especially around bias and inaccuracy”.The balance between curiosity and caution matters more than we realise. While 53% are using AI for help with their homework, 41% are simply using it to stave off boredom, which in itself can be a slippery slope. With 83% of parents claiming that schools have not communicated with them about generative AI, the responsibility of use lies with us.infographic-why-ai-rules-matter Kids are naturally fascinated by new technology that responds to them, answers their questions, and creates things on demand. That fascination is brilliant for learning, but like all things in early life, guidance is imperative to safeguard our children and keep them safe.Rules aren't about control or mistrust – they're about creating a framework where children can explore AI's benefits whilst avoiding its risks. The families I've spoken to who navigate this successfully all have one thing in common: they established boundaries before problems emerged, not after.

Age-Appropriate AI Rules: Broken Down By Age Group

Different ages face completely different challenges with AI, and what works for an 8-year-old is useless for a 15-year-old. Here's how to approach AI rules based on your child's developmental stage.

Under 7: Learn Together, Never Alone

Young children should never use AI tools independently. Their understanding of what's real, what's safe to share, and how to interpret responses is still developing. Every interaction should involve a parent or responsible adult.Nearly 80% of UK teens aged 13-17 use generative AI, but among children aged 7-12, around 40% are already engaging with these tools, making early supervision critical.

• Keep AI use supervised and purposeful. If you're using a voice assistant together to play music or ask silly questions, that's fine. If your child is independently chatting with an AI about their day, that's not appropriate for this age.
• Avoid chatbots entirely for this age group. Young children don't have the cognitive development to understand that they're talking to a program rather than a person. The risk of confusion, inappropriate responses, or emotional attachment is too high.
• Focus on AI tools designed specifically for early learning – simple educational apps that use AI to adapt to their learning pace, but don't simulate conversation or friendship.

Ages 8-12: Introduce Responsibility

This age group can begin using some AI tools with appropriate oversight. They're old enough to understand basic concepts about AI, but still need significant guidance and monitoring.

• Co-use educational tools together initially, then gradually allow more independence as they demonstrate understanding and good judgment. Sit with them whilst they use AI homework helpers or creative tools, discussing what the AI does well and where it makes mistakes.
• Explain privacy and limits in concrete terms they can understand. ‘Don't tell the AI your full name, school, or address' is clearer than vague warnings about ‘being careful online.' Be specific about what information is off-limits.
• Use parental control apps to monitor which AI tools they're accessing and how long they're spending on them. At this age, transparency about monitoring is important – they should know you're checking in, and why.
• Create clear rules about when AI can help with homework and when it crosses into cheating. Many children this age struggle to understand the difference between ‘AI helped me understand this concept' and ‘AI did my homework for me.'

About a quarter of US teens have used ChatGPT for schoolwork, with usage doubling from 2023 to 2024. Older teens in 11th and 12th grade are more likely to use AI for schoolwork than younger students. Establishing rules around this will help them to understand limitations, avoid total dependence, and use the technology responsibility.

Ages 13-15: Safe Independence

Teenagers need growing independence, but AI tools present risks that require continued oversight. This age group faces pressure to use AI in ways that might compromise academic integrity, privacy, or emotional wellbeing.The reality: Two in five teens report having used generative AI to help with school assignments, and 46% of them have done so without the teacher's permission.Here are some rules that may help:

• Limited use with oversight means trusting them to use AI appropriately whilst maintaining awareness of what they're doing. You're not reading every conversation, but you are checking in regularly about which tools they're using and why.
• Discuss data privacy and emotional boundaries explicitly. Teenagers need to understand that everything they share with AI is potentially permanent, analysed, and used to train future systems. They need to recognise when they're forming unhealthy attachments to AI chatbots or using them to avoid dealing with real-world challenges.
• Address academic integrity directly and repeatedly. The temptation to use AI for homework help, essay writing, or exam preparation is enormous at this age. Clear expectations about what's acceptable help them navigate these situations.

For more guidance on having these conversations, see our article on how to talk to your kids about online safety.

Ages 16+: Critical Thinking

Older teenagers need to develop critical thinking about AI that will serve them into adulthood. At this age, rules should focus less on restriction and more on developing judgment.

• Talk about deepfakes, misinformation, and digital responsibility in sophisticated ways. They're old enough to understand how AI can be misused, how it perpetuates biases, and why blindly trusting AI-generated content is dangerous.
• Discuss the ethics of AI use in academic and professional contexts. They're approaching university and work environments where AI use is evolving rapidly. Understanding not just what's technically possible but what's ethically appropriate will serve them well.
• Encourage them to question AI outputs rather than accepting them as fact. Every AI-generated response should prompt the question: ‘Is this actually accurate, or just convincing?'

For more on the risks older teens face, including AI-enabled bullying, see our guide on AI chatbots: the hidden dangers you need to know.

Age-Appropriate AI Rules: Free Downloadable Resources

Clear, age-tailored rules for safe and confident AI use.

← Scroll to see all resources →

PDF Guide

Under 7 – AI Rules

Simple, visual rules for young children to stay safe with AI-powered tech.

1 page Age Under 7

Download Under 7 Rules

PDF Guide

8-12 – AI Rules

Age-appropriate guidelines to help children navigate AI tools and content safely.

1 page Age 8-12

Download 8-12 Rules

PDF Guide

13-15 – AI Rules

Rules designed for younger teens to understand and manage AI-based interactions safely.

1 page Age 13-15

Download 13-15 Rules

PDF Guide

16 + – AI Rules

Rules for older teens and young adults to use AI tools responsibly and ethically.

1 page Age 16 +

Download 16 + Rules

Family Rules That Work at Every Age

Whilst age-specific guidance matters, some rules apply across all ages and create consistent expectations within your family.

• AI only in shared spaces for younger children eliminates the secrecy that allows problematic use to develop. Teenagers might use devices in their rooms, but establishing that AI use happens in common areas provides natural oversight without invasive monitoring.
• Balanced screen time ensures AI doesn't crowd out other activities. Whether that's outdoor play, reading, hobbies, or face-to-face socialising, children need experiences beyond screens. AI tools are fascinating, but they shouldn't dominate free time. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that screen time be very limited for children younger than 2 years old, while the World Health Organization recommends no screen time at all for infants under age 1 and no more than one hour daily for children aged 2-4.
• Always double-check AI answers to build critical thinking and protect against misinformation. AI gets things wrong regularly, sometimes confidently presenting completely incorrect information. Teaching children to verify AI-generated content through other sources is essential.
• Never share personal information remains non-negotiable regardless of age. Full names, addresses, school details, photos, family information – all of this stays offline. Even teenagers who understand privacy concepts need reminders that AI platforms collect and analyse everything shared with them.

 The NSPCC identified seven key safety risks associated with generative AI, including sexual grooming, sexual harassment, bullying, financially motivated extortion, child sexual abuse material, harmful content, and harmful advertisements. Children have contacted Childline about AI-related concerns since as early as 2019, with issues including the generation of child sexual abuse images or videos, or threats to create them with blackmail or financial extortion.The reality of this is scary, but tools like Aura provide comprehensive digital-safety protection for your family's identity, finances, and online activity, with real-time alerts if personal data appears online or if your child's details are used to open new accounts, so you can still protect your family if you invest in the right tools.For more on establishing boundaries that actually work in daily family life, see our guide on creating healthy family technology rules.

How to Put AI Rules In Place

Good intentions about AI rules often fail without practical tools to support them. Technology isn't necessary, but it can help enforce boundaries while teaching children to develop their own judgment.Parental control apps provide varying levels of monitoring and restriction. Qustodio focuses on time limits and app blocking, allowing you to restrict when and how long children can access AI tools. Bark specifically monitors conversations and alerts you to concerning content, which is particularly useful for detecting problematic AI chatbot interactions. If your child is especially secretive or has a troubled past, parental control tools like mSpy – designed to track messages, social-media activity, and app installations to help spot risky AI or chat apps early – might be a better fit. You can see how mSpy vs Bark compare, or review the best parental control apps to find a tool better suited to your needs.With all apps, enable in-app safety settings wherever they exist. Many AI platforms include options to filter content, limit interactions, or disable certain features. These aren't always prominently displayed, so you'll need to actively seek them out in settings menus.Keep accounts on shared devices for younger children. Rather than giving a 9-year-old their own tablet with AI apps, use a family iPad that lives in the kitchen. This naturally limits when and how AI tools are accessed without requiring sophisticated monitoring.Set up activity reports and alerts that notify you about concerning patterns – sudden increases in AI usage, new apps being installed, or attempts to access blocked content. Automating this awareness is more sustainable than trying to actively monitor everything manually.For comprehensive guidance on protecting your family whilst respecting age-appropriate privacy, see our article on how to use technology to keep your family safe.

Guidance from Child Safety Experts

The NSPCC calls on governments to pass legislation holding generative AI companies accountable for children's safety and empowering regulatory bodies to enforce child protection measures. Over three quarters of the UK public want child safety checks on new generative AI products.According to the NSPCC's Associate Head of Child Safety Online, Kate Edwards, parents should have open conversations with children about where they're seeing AI tools and content online as an opportunity to discuss the risks and benefits they're experiencing.UK government guidance: From September 2025, Keeping Children Safe in Education guidance includes sections on AI, warning of issues such as AI-generated grooming or harassment, and advising on filters and detection tools for harmful AI content.Support available: If children experience anything concerning online, they can contact Childline 24/7 on 0800 1111 or via email or online chat for confidential support.

How to Keep Rules Relevant

AI rules aren't something you establish once and forget about. Technology evolves rapidly, your children mature, and what worked last year might be completely inappropriate now.Review rules as your child matures, ideally every six months for younger children and annually for teenagers. Sit down together and discuss what's working, what feels too restrictive, and what new challenges have emerged. This isn't about abandoning boundaries – it's about ensuring they remain appropriate and effective.

• Update boundaries with responsibility. When your child demonstrates good judgment with AI tools, gradually expand what they're allowed to do. When they violate rules or show poor decision-making, pull back temporarily. Rules should respond to actual behaviour rather than remaining static regardless of how children handle the freedom they're given.
• Keep discussions open about new apps and AI tools. The AI landscape changes constantly, with new platforms emerging regularly. Create an expectation that your child tells you about new AI tools they want to try, rather than downloading them secretly. This requires responding to these requests thoughtfully rather than with automatic refusal.
• Ask other parents what they're seeing and how they're handling it. The families who navigate digital parenting most successfully tend to share information and strategies rather than figuring everything out alone. What works in one family might work in yours, and what challenges they're facing might be coming your way soon.

 

My Biggest Takeaways

You don't need to ban AI to keep your children safe – you just need to match tools to your child's age and developmental stage whilst guiding them responsibly. AI can genuinely encourage creativity and learning when used appropriately, but ‘appropriately' looks different for a 7-year-old than it does for a 16-year-old.The goal isn't creating perfect rules that cover every possible scenario. The goal is establishing a framework where your children can explore AI's benefits whilst understanding its limitations and risks. Rules provide structure, but ongoing conversations provide the judgment that keeps them safe as technology evolves.Start with your child's current age and developmental stage, establish clear boundaries appropriate for that level, and plan to revisit those rules regularly. As my daughters grow, I know the rules I establish at 7 won't work at 13. That's not failure – that's successful adaptation to their changing needs and capabilities.The families I've seen handle this well share one characteristic: they approach AI rules as ongoing guidance rather than one-time restrictions. They talk regularly about what their children are doing online, why certain boundaries exist, and how those boundaries might change as children demonstrate responsibility.Your involvement and awareness matter more than perfect rules or comprehensive restrictions. Children who understand why AI rules exist, who feel comfortable discussing their online experiences, and who know you're available to help navigate challenges are far safer than children with the most sophisticated parental controls but no communication.Begin this week by having one conversation about AI with your child. Ask what they know about it, what tools they've heard about or want to try, and what questions they have. Build understanding together, and you'll create a foundation for safety that adapts as both technology and your children grow.