Understanding Sextortion

Sextortion occurs when someone threatens to share intimate images or videos of your child unless they provide more explicit content, money, or other demands. Unlike general online blackmail, sextortion specifically targets emotional vulnerability and trust. If you're looking for a full overview of what sextortion is and how to prevent it, read our guide What Is Sextortion and How to Prevent It. This article focuses on what to do if your teenager is already being targeted.

The perpetrator may have obtained or created the images through several means, including:

• Manipulation – convincing your son or daughter to share photos willingly
• Hacking or stealing images from their devices or social media accounts
• Creating fake or altered images using their existing photos – sometimes through AI deepfake technology that makes fabricated content appear real
• Screenshots from private video calls or chat platforms

Sextortion cases targeting young people have surged worldwide. The National Crime Agency‘s CEOP Safety Centre received 380 reports in 2024, while UK police recorded an average of 117 monthly cases involving under-18s in the first five months of that year. The Internet Watch Foundation confirmed 176 UK cases in 2023, compared to just 21 in 2022 – a staggering 738% rise. Around 60% involved victims aged 16 or 17. Despite its prevalence, awareness remains low. According to 2025 National Crime Agency research, 74% of boys surveyed didn't fully understand what sextortion was, 73% didn't know how to report it, and only 12% believed they could personally be at risk.

Warning Signs Your Child May Be Targeted

Teenagers rarely come forward straight away when sextortion begins. Most feel ashamed, frightened, or convinced they will get into trouble if they admit what is happening. That silence is what perpetrators rely on. As a parent, one of the most powerful things you can do is learn to recognise the subtle changes that often appear before they disclose what is going on.

You might notice your son or daughter becoming quieter or more withdrawn than usual. They may start spending long periods alone in their room, keeping their phone or laptop close by at all times. Some parents describe seeing their child's expression change suddenly when a message notification appears, followed by a rush to hide the screen or lock the device. If you ask what is wrong, you might hear vague answers or see irritation that feels out of character.

There can also be small emotional shifts. Your kid might seem anxious, distracted or unusually tired from being up late online. Others may show signs of guilt or self-blame without explaining why. In some cases, sleep patterns change, appetite drops, or school attendance becomes a problem. None of these things alone confirm sextortion, but together they signal that something is weighing heavily on them. These behavioural changes often mirror other risks young people face on social media.

Money-related behaviour can also raise red flags. A teenager being blackmailed may suddenly ask to borrow cash, talk about cryptocurrency, or mention needing to buy gift cards for a vague reason. Some quietly sell personal belongings or empty savings accounts to meet demands. If you notice missing money or unexplained transactions, take it as a prompt for a calm conversation rather than confrontation.

Digitally, you might see your child deleting accounts, setting up new ones, or avoiding platforms they previously enjoyed. They may talk about new friends they met online but avoid giving details. If you ask about these people and they become defensive or nervous, that could indicate someone has gained influence over them.

It is easy to miss these signs because they unfold gradually and can look like normal teenage behaviour. The key is to pay attention to patterns and clusters of changes rather than single moments. If your instinct tells you something feels off, trust it. Approach them gently, show that you are on their side, and remind them that no matter what has happened, you will help them through it.

How to Talk to Them About It

Finding out or even suspecting that they are being targeted by sextortion is incredibly upsetting, but the way you talk to them about it will shape how safe they feel coming forward. Many teenagers stay silent because they fear judgement, punishment or embarrassment. Your calm, supportive approach can be the difference between them shutting down and opening up. This isn't about catching them out or demanding answers – it's about helping them feel secure enough to share what's really going on.

Choose the Right Moment

Timing matters. Try to bring it up when things are calm and private, not in the middle of a family argument or when emotions are running high. You might start the conversation during a quiet car journey or while you're cooking together – moments when eye contact isn't constant and your kid feels less on the spot.

Lead with Care, Not Blame

Begin by showing concern rather than suspicion. You could say something like: ‘I've noticed you've seemed stressed lately, and I'm worried about you. Whatever's happening, you're not in trouble – I just want to help.' This type of language makes it clear that your intention is to protect, not to punish. Avoid comments that sound accusatory, such as ‘Why would you send that?' or ‘What were you thinking?' as these increase shame and make it harder for them to trust you.

Ask Gentle, Open Questions

Let your son or daughter talk at their own pace. If you push too hard, they might retreat further. Try asking open questions that invite conversation instead of yes-or-no answers. For example: ‘Has anyone been making you feel uncomfortable online?' or ‘Has someone been asking you to do something you don't want to do?' Keep your tone soft and curious, not interrogative. Even if they deny anything at first, they'll remember that you asked – and that you care.

Reassure Them They're Not Alone

Sextortion makes many teens feel singled out or stupid, but it's sadly far more common than most people realise. Remind them that they're not the only one this has happened to and that the fault lies entirely with the person who manipulated them. You can share that organisations like the National Crime Agency and Childline deal with sextortion cases every day, helping young people take back control of their situation. Knowing that professionals understand what's happening can make them feel less alone and more willing to accept help.

Explain What Happens Next

If your child does tell you what's going on, the most important thing you can do is stay calm. Let them know there's a clear plan and that you'll handle it together. You might say: ‘Thank you for trusting me. We're going to deal with this step by step – you're not on your own.' Then outline the basics: stop contact with the perpetrator, preserve evidence, and report it to the right authorities such as CEOP or the local police. It may also help to show them our parent guide on how to prevent sextortion in future, so they understand that what's happening is part of a wider pattern of online crime – not a personal failure.

Your goal in this conversation isn't to solve everything immediately but to rebuild a sense of safety. If they feel heard, believed and supported, they're far more likely to open up about what's really happening – and that's where real protection begins.

Immediate Actions to Take

Once they've told you what's happening, it's natural to feel panicked or angry – but taking clear, steady action will make the biggest difference. The first few hours after finding out are about protecting them, gathering evidence and stopping the perpetrator from having any further control. Think of it as shifting from fear to focus. Each small, careful step helps them feel safer and starts to close the perpetrator's access.

1. Stop Communication Immediately

Encourage your son or daughter to cut off all contact with the perpetrator straight away. That means no replies, no negotiations and no attempts to reason with them. Even a single message can give the offender the reaction they want and keep the threats going. Remind them that they mustn't send any more photos, videos or money, and they shouldn't delete the chat just yet – it's vital evidence. If they've already sent money or gift cards, make a note of the amount, the payment method and when it happened.

2. Preserve Evidence Safely

Before you report anything, take screenshots of all messages, images, usernames and profile links. Record the dates and times of conversations and note which platform was used. Save this information to a secure folder, ideally on a device separate from your kid's phone, and back it up to a safe place such as cloud storage or a USB drive. Evidence helps police and online platforms identify offenders and connect related cases. If they're worried about you seeing explicit content, reassure them that you only need to document what's necessary and that professionals will handle it discreetly.

3. Report the Offence

Reporting sextortion might feel intimidating, but it's one of the most important steps in stopping the abuse and protecting other young people. Start with the CEOP (Child Exploitation and Online Protection) Centre, which has a dedicated form for sextortion cases. You can also contact your local police directly or use the FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Centre (IC3) if the perpetrator appears to be based overseas. Even if prosecution doesn't happen immediately, these reports help authorities build cases, track patterns and potentially prevent further harm.

According to the UK Safer Internet Centre, only about a quarter of sextortion victims hear back from police after reporting, and conviction rates remain low. That might sound discouraging, but making a report still matters – it shows your child that the abuse is recognised as a crime and helps build the bigger picture for law enforcement. It also gives you access to official support channels that can guide you through the next steps.

4. Secure Accounts and Devices

Next, help them strengthen their online security. Change passwords on all accounts and use unique, complex combinations that can't be guessed easily. Enable two-factor authentication wherever possible, review privacy settings on social media, and block the perpetrator's accounts. If they feel overwhelmed, you can do this together step by step, explaining what each action does to protect them. If threats continue, consider temporarily deactivating social media accounts until things settle.

5. Use Trusted Reporting Tools

There are organisations that specialise in removing intimate or manipulated images from the internet. The Internet Watch Foundation's Report Remove tool helps get non-consensual images taken down quickly. You can also contact the Revenge Porn Helpline for help removing explicit material and the NSPCC Helpline (0808 800 5000) for advice and emotional support as a parent. These services exist so you don't have to handle this alone.

It's also worth bookmarking our in-depth guide, What Is Sextortion and How to Prevent It, which explains how these scams operate and what you can do to reduce the chances of it happening again. For now, focus on taking these practical steps at a steady pace. Your calm presence and clear actions will help your child start to recover their confidence and sense of control.

Supporting Them Emotionally

Once the immediate steps are underway, your focus naturally shifts to helping your kid process what's happened. Sextortion can leave young people feeling humiliated, anxious and unsure who to trust. Even if the threat has stopped, the fear often lingers. How you respond now will shape their recovery more than anything else – calm, consistent support will help them start to feel safe again.

Many young people describe feeling constant anxiety about whether the content has actually been shared, or if the perpetrator might come back. According to the UK Safer Internet Centre, more than half of victims were unsure whether their images had been distributed, which only fuels ongoing worry and self-blame. The National Crime Agency has found that victims often experience isolation, helplessness, and hesitation to report what's happened. Many carry deep feelings of shame or guilt, believing they've caused the problem rather than being manipulated into it. The most important thing is to help them understand that none of this is their fault. They were targeted because someone decided to exploit their trust, not because of anything they did wrong.

Avoid Victim Blaming

It's easy to ask why your son or daughter sent the images or replied to messages in the first place, but that question, even if well-intentioned, can sound like blame. Instead, remind them that responsibility sits entirely with the person who manipulated and threatened them. You might say, ‘This happened because someone chose to exploit you, not because of anything you did wrong.' That reassurance helps replace shame with perspective and is something they may need to hear more than once.

Stay Calm and Steady

Your child will look to you for cues on how serious this is and how to react. If they see panic or anger, they may pull back to avoid upsetting you further. Try to stay composed, even if you're furious inside. Take breaks when you need to, breathe before responding, and remind yourself that showing stability helps them feel grounded when everything else feels uncertain.

Protect Their Privacy

It might be tempting to share what's happened with friends or extended family to get advice, but doing so without your kid's permission can make them feel exposed all over again. Let them decide who knows the details and when. If you need support yourself, speak confidentially to professionals such as the NSPCC Helpline or Childline rather than turning to social media or informal networks. Protecting their privacy reinforces that you're a safe person to turn to.

Listen More Than You Speak

Sometimes the best thing you can do is simply listen. Let them talk without interruption, even if their story comes out slowly or feels uncomfortable to hear. Avoid jumping in with solutions straight away. A pause, a nod, or saying ‘I understand this is really hard for you' often does more good than a list of next steps. Once they've finished talking, you can gently ask what they'd like you to do next.

Keep Checking In

Recovery isn't a single conversation – it's ongoing. Check in regularly, not just about the situation itself but about how they're coping day to day. You might say, ‘How are you feeling about everything this week?' or ‘Is there anything that would make things a bit easier right now?' These small, steady interactions show that your care hasn't faded once the crisis passed.

When to Seek Professional Help

Even with your support, some teens need extra help to recover from sextortion. The experience can leave lasting anxiety, guilt, or low self-esteem, and it's completely normal for them to struggle in ways that aren't always visible at first. Getting professional support early isn't a sign of failure – it's often the quickest route to healing and stability.

If your son or daughter shows signs of depression, anxiety or panic, seems withdrawn from family and friends, or has trouble sleeping or eating, these are strong signals that outside help could make a difference. You might also notice them avoiding school, losing interest in things they once enjoyed, or expressing feelings of worthlessness. It's important to take those signs seriously and not wait until they reach crisis point.

A qualified therapist or counsellor who specialises in working with teenagers can help them process what's happened in a safe space. You can ask your GP for a referral, contact your local NHS talking therapies service, or look for private practitioners through trusted directories such as the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. If they feel more comfortable speaking to someone anonymously first, encourage them to contact Childline for free, confidential support.

If your child expresses thoughts of self-harm or suicide, don't wait to see if things improve. Stay with them, remove anything they could use to hurt themselves, and seek immediate help. You can call 999 in an emergency, or reach out to one of the following crisis services:

• Childline: 0800 1111 – confidential support for young people
• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: dial 988 in the US
• Samaritans: call 116 123 for 24-hour support across the UK and Ireland

Professional help doesn't just support your kid – it also takes some of the weight off you as a parent. You don't have to have all the answers or carry the situation alone. Knowing that trained experts are guiding your child through the recovery process can make it easier to focus on keeping your home calm, safe, and reassuring while they heal.

Prevention and Ongoing Safety

Once things have calmed down, most parents want to know how to stop something like this from ever happening again. While there's no way to remove all online risks, you can do a lot to reduce their vulnerability and build their confidence in handling tricky situations. The goal isn't constant surveillance or control – it's helping them understand online behaviour, spot manipulation, and feel safe enough to ask for help early.

Keep the Conversation Going

Talk about online safety regularly, not as a lecture but as part of normal conversation. You might bring it up while watching the news, scrolling together, or chatting in the car. Focus on how manipulation works rather than just setting rules. Help them recognise the small red flags – like when someone moves the chat to a private app, asks for photos, or gives them attention that feels too intense too soon.

You can say things like, ‘If anyone ever asks you for pictures or tries to make you keep something secret, you can always come to me first – we'll handle it together.' That reassurance gives them permission to reach out before things spiral. Research from the National Crime Agency shows most teens who experience sextortion had no idea how common it was until it happened to them, so talking about it openly is one of the strongest forms of prevention.

Teach Digital Boundaries

Work with your child to set clear, realistic boundaries for how they use social media, messaging apps, and games. Make it a collaboration rather than a list of rules. Discuss privacy settings, who can send friend requests, and what types of information are fine to share publicly. If you're not sure where to start, the UK Safer Internet Centre has excellent guides, or you can set up parental controls on their devices to add an extra layer of protection.

Explain that once something is shared digitally, it can be copied or saved, even on platforms that claim messages disappear. Help them think critically about what they post and who they trust online. You don't need to make them fearful – just aware of how easy it is for people to pretend to be someone they're not. Start by enabling privacy controls on their social media accounts to limit who can contact them.

Use Parental Controls Wisely

Parental control tools can help, but they work best as part of open communication rather than secret monitoring. Be upfront about what you're using and why – for example, to filter explicit content or limit messages from strangers. You can explore trusted tools in our detailed guide on the best parental control apps, which compares options for both Android and iPhone.

The key is balance. Monitoring should protect, not invade. If your kid knows you're being transparent about what you see and why, it builds trust rather than resentment. Consider creating family technology rules together so everyone feels ownership over the boundaries.

Stay Gently Alert

Even after you've reported the incident and your son or daughter seems to be recovering, it's worth staying gently alert. Most teens bounce back well, but some perpetrators try to reappear weeks or months later – or new ones might target the same young person using different accounts. That doesn't mean you need to watch over their shoulder constantly. It's about keeping an open line of communication and spotting small changes early.

If they become unusually anxious again, hide their phone, or seem on edge about notifications, ask them calmly what's going on. Avoid jumping straight to conclusions – just remind them that if anything feels off, they can tell you without getting into trouble. It helps to revisit privacy settings every few months, block suspicious accounts, and encourage them to report anything that makes them uncomfortable through the CEOP Safety Centre.

Legal Considerations

When sextortion involves a young person, the law is there to protect them, not to punish them. In the UK, it's illegal for anyone to create, possess or share intimate images of anyone under 18 – even if the young person shared them willingly at first. However, the police and child protection services treat these situations as exploitation, not criminal behaviour by the victim.

If your child shared images, reassure them that coming forward won't get them into trouble. Officers from the CEOP Safety Centre and local police are trained to handle sextortion cases sensitively and will focus on protecting them and investigating the offender. Reporting creates an official record, helps stop the perpetrator targeting others, and can sometimes lead to content removal through trusted organisations like the Internet Watch Foundation.

Sextortion usually involves several criminal offences, including blackmail, child sexual exploitation, harassment and possession of indecent images. Even if prosecution takes time, your report adds valuable intelligence that may connect to other victims or ongoing investigations. You can also speak to the NSPCC Helpline for confidential advice on next steps before contacting the police, if you're unsure how to proceed.

The most important thing is that them understands they're not to blame and that the law is on their side. By reporting and seeking help early, you not only protect your own child but also contribute to stopping others from being exploited in the same way.

Moving Forward

What they've been through is serious, but it doesn't have to define their future. With time, openness and consistent support, most young people recover fully and go on to have healthy relationships, stable confidence and strong digital awareness. It might take a while for life to feel normal again, but every small sign of progress – laughter, routine, or curiosity returning – is a step towards healing.

Your role now is to keep showing up with love, patience and reassurance. Follow through on any safety changes you've made, keep professional support in place for as long as needed, and remind them regularly that they're not alone and never to blame. If new worries crop up, you can always return to trusted sources like the NSPCC, the Internet Watch Foundation, or the UK Safer Internet Centre for practical guidance.

It's completely normal to feel protective, exhausted, or even angry at what's happened, but try to focus on what you can control now – your presence, your calm, and your ongoing support. Those things matter more than anything else. With the right help and your steady encouragement, they can come out of this stronger, wiser and more resilient than before.